dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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