u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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