btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
