i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize