yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
