Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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