We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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