I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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