Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
