Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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