Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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