We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Small penises have feelings too.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
