I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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