Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
