I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you inspire me to be a worse person
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
