I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
