Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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