K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
