she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
