in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize