thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
