Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
