I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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