I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize