walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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