Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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