Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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