She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
