Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
