Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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