my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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