Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
