I don't think brook has ever known best
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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