It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
