Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
pray to the hookup gods
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
