Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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