you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
