Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
