But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
