It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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