so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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