She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize