You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
