turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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