im drinking this country out of the recession.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize