I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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