Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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