Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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