he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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