I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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