You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
