No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
