Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
false alarm, still single
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