Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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