so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We got so high we made milksteak
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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