Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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